Grief has no time line- the journey takes time

In this deeply personal and inspiring message, Sister Jennifer shares her heartfelt journey of healing after losing her son to violence 11 years ago. As someone who has walked through the valley of grief, she offers hope, encouragement, and practical wisdom for anyone dealing with loss.

What You'll Learn:
✨ How to process grief without being told to "get over it"
✨ The healing power of forgiveness (even when it feels impossible)
✨ Why walking away from revenge leads to peace
✨ Practical coping strategies that actually work
✨ How friends and community can support grieving families
✨ Why Jesus wept - and why your tears are valid too

Key Takeaways:
• Grief has no timeline - take your time to heal
• Sudden death affects you mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually  
• Walking and movement can be therapeutic during difficult times
• Don't judge others' healing journey - just pray and support
• "It is well" - speak life to yourself even in pain

This message is especially meaningful for:
- Parents who have lost children
- Anyone grieving a sudden or violent loss
- Those approaching death anniversaries
- People supporting bereaved loved ones
- Anyone seeking hope in dark seasons

Sister Jennifer speaks from Ghana, remembering her son and encouraging others that healing is possible while honoring your loved one's memory.

#grief #healing #loss #bereaved #mothers 
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Remember: You are fearfully and wonderfully made. It is well.

About the host:

Jennifer Beckford is the founder of the Nicholas Stewart Project, a loving mother, and a believer in the power of community development and its resilience.

For as long as she can remember, Jennifer has been passionate about helping others. Throughout her adult life, she continues to give her time in the service of helping others, even when, on occasions, it seems impossible!

Jennifer says: “I feel compelled to do at least one voluntary task each week”.


Follow us:
Facebook: @nicholasstewartproject
Facebook: @thetrumpetsounds
LinkedIn: The Nicholas Stewart Project
Instagram: @_thensp

Transcript

A Mother's Message on Grief and Healing

Opening Greetings

Greetings. Greetings my friends. How are you today? We are alive despite the circumstances of life. God be praised. Greetings, blessings. I hope you're all well today and giving God thanks. I am giving God thanks for another day. I am here and I just want to say abba father how great thou art.

Introduction and Purpose

Now I have been doing some reflection and I just want to focus on those who have lost loved ones recently. Those who have anniversaries coming up of the passing of their loved ones. And I know it is not easy speaking from experience, speaking as a mother. And I know that there are mothers who will be remembering their loved ones even in this season as myself.

The Catalyst for This Message

Recently I was listening to this preacher on YouTube. I was scrolling and I met up on Truth of God. Don't know if you heard about that church but the pastor is Pastor Gino Jennings. So he had a presentation of some gang members who changed their lives from the life of crime to following Christ.

And while I listened to that presentation, I remembered in the time of my own tragedy because of crime - I lost my son. I'm coming up into the anniversary this month of my last son.

Reflecting on Violence and Crime

I pondered and I think - I know that I've thought this before, you know, but sometimes you think things and you rethink them. And when I was listening I said to myself, I was asking why - why would somebody want to think upon themselves or think upon themselves to take the life of another person?

And the only thought - and I've heard a couple of people say it - that sometime is out of jealousy, greed or hate and envy. You know, it makes sense because especially if you know the person and the person done you wrong, you might just have a quarrel, you might have a disagreement.

Why can't you walk away? We are already living in a world that's full of chaos and pain and hardship. Why do you, the perpetrator, want to inflict other people upon the families, the communities, the friends, that anguish of pain and your family?

The Reality of Prison and Consequences

And I know that when you do that and you are alone by yourself, if the law gets you, you are caged in and all sorts. From what I hear from these people can happen to you in prison, it's like a done deal. It's like you are literally dead.

A Plea for Peace

So to the sound of my voice, whether you're young or old, if somebody has done you wrong, walk away. Somebody has done you wrong. There's another day. There is another day.

There is a thing that people talks about of revenge. You don't want to harbor that. Walk away. There's a higher power than manpower. I know about God. I know to walk away and leave things in the hands of God. Take it from me.

The Power of Forgiveness

And the other thing in this process I've learned to do is to say from my heart, I forgive you as hard at it as it feels. Because really, my child, if it was up to me, they put that key in and threw away the keys. But the spirit of God who moves in my being and my members would say forgive.

Message to the Grieving

So as you go through whether you lose your loved ones by medical or somebody's hands - for your healing, for your restoration, for your peace of mind, for living a healthy lifestyle, going through your pain, let it go. Give it to God.

It is enough pain dealing with your loss and your grief because you have to live with it and let nobody tell you to get over it. It is not in their place to tell you and me to get over it. Yes. And I would never wish it upon anybody to go through what I have been. No matter how hard you have been to me, I would never wish it because this thing named grief, especially when you lost your child sudden by the hands of men and you know that of a truth this shouldn't really happen.

Finding Life Through Pain

But thank be to God. Thanks be to God because I can live my life. I can live my life a life of peace. Through my tears, through my pain, I can say, "Thank you, Lord." I can still smile. I can still smile through it.

It is coming up to 11 years. And don't tell me or tell anybody who have lost their child that it's time to stop. Pray for them. Put them in the hands of the Lord because you see God, he is a God who understands our heartaches and people are going through.

The Hidden Struggles

It's not just about the grief that pain them. There are other things that you don't know about that they have been going through - the system that should have been supporting and all the other support that they may be looking for and they have to go through life literally on their own. It's not an easy pill to swallow.

Some people have got have developed health issues and they keep it to themselves because number one they don't want people to feeling sorry for them. Number two, they don't want to feel as though they're a burden to other people. Sometimes they don't know what to say and so they go through life.

Encouragement for the Bereaved

I will encourage every person who are bereaved today that the process of healing takes time. It's not a rush. Take your time to go through your healing. Find out what works well for you. Find something that you think your loved ones would love you to do. Think on the things that are pure, the things that are true. Think on the good times that you had with your loved ones.

The pain will not always linger. The scars may be still there but the pain will sometime give you a break and moving on as they would want us to do. I don't say move on. I says journey through.

Practical Advice for Healing

As you journey through along the way the memories, take the good memories. Lean on the Lord. Trust the Lord to take you through. Ask the Lord to send the right people around you. Enjoy the life that God has assigned to you. Have some good times. Find it in yourself. Be kind to yourself. Do what pleases you according to the will of God for your life.

Despite the ups and downs you may have, it is a good thing to have and to bask in your good days. When you feel down, take a rest, if you will. Maybe later on you push yourself a little to take a walk.

The Therapeutic Power of Movement

When the mind, especially when the mind is bombarded, it's good to take that walk. Even if it is raining, I find it therapeutic at times. Sometimes when I don't feel like doing things, I might have a friend that call up and says, "Go for a walk, Sister Jennifer. Go for a walk." I don't feel like doing it, but they will say, my friend will say, "Go for a walk. It's good."

And if she sense that I'm hesitant, she will prod me, prod me till I said, "Okay, I'm going to do it." And then I go and there are times when I have my neighbor will just turn up and said, "Sister Jen, I'm coming. We are going for we're going for a walk and I have no choice." So I had to go for that walk. So those things help.

How to Help Others

So people if you have your friends who are going through you can do that to help them. Don't just say you just sit down in the house. Try to find some way that you can help them. Help them to smile.

When people do things there are people like myself. Well as a matter of fact it was people who knew my son. I had something to do for young people. But then it was people who had known my son who came up and told me and then we started to have that. And then from there on people just volunteer every year. Every year. And even though I'm here in Ghana, I'm getting messages, sister Jen, what you're not here in London. What are we doing? You know, that's that sort of thing.

Words of Caution

So, do not criticize. Do not criticize. If you don't know what to say, just pray. It is not your journey. Yes, you don't know what people are experiencing on their journey of bereavement.

Jesus Wept - A Comfort

There's a time even in the scriptures that Jesus friend died and Jesus wept. So many people have their own interpretation or whatever, but I take it that this was a comfort to me. And why this particular word was a comfort and I still find it a comfort because sometimes people come up with some things that make you feel so sorrowful on top of your sorrow.

And I was led to this and I said, "Ooh, Jesus wept." And you know, the spirit of the Lord began to talk to me and encourage me. And I say, "Oh, thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Even you, Jesus, wept for your friend." In the scriptures, it did not say how long, but he did wept.

The Healing Power of Tears

So when I'm crying, when I'm weeping or when somebody else is weeping, don't try to tell them don't cry because I know from experience that crying is therapeutic because you let out. If you try to be brave and said, "I'm not crying and I'm this, I'm that." Might be careful you don't end up at the hospital because you see those tears even without being bereaved when something happened to you and you have a good cry. Tell me if you don't feel better afterwards. Tell me. Yes.

Understanding Sudden Death and Grief

So I am still encouraging and to tell you that grief, sudden death is a traumatic experience. It affects you. Listen, when you have sudden death, especially a child and if that child lived with you, I'm telling you, you feel it more. Yeah. And it depends how close you are to that family, that child, how close you are. If you weren't close to the person, it's like and it's over. But when you are close, your recovery does not happen overnight. Yes.

So sudden death is grievous. It is traumatic. It affects you mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Final Words to Supporters and the Bereaved

So those of you who are not bereaved, don't be quick to judge other people. Please just try to be understanding and what they're doing. Just whatever they're doing, just try to help them. Just try to help them on their journey. Don't add on any more grief to them because sometimes it can feel as though you're killing them. Not physically, but emotionally.

And I'm saying those who are going through - it is well. It is well. I want you to affirm. I want you to speak to yourself. Speak to your mind. It is well. This too shall pass. It is your season. I don't know when. I don't know how. But trust God in your process.

Closing Blessing

Be blessed. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Be blessed.